Relocating | Loneliness, Unfamiliarity & New Hopes

If you've kept up-to-date with my recent Youtube videos, you'll be well aware I'm now residing in the whimsical county of West Sussex. I was originally based on the outskirts of London, and I'd never even ventured into this part of the country until the last couple of years. I met my boyfriend, Ollie, at University in London and once graduation rolled around, it seemed clear that one of us was going to have to make the move.

Jack & Jill Windmill Walk - The South Downs
Jack & Jill Windmill Walk - The South Downs 
Having been based in the same area for my whole life, I welcomed the idea of a new area - especially one which came with an abundance of beautiful countryside and Brighton beach on my doorstep! I feel like I'm a bit of a country-bumpkin at heart, so the picturesque vista of Sussex seems to suit me and certainly makes me feel more at peace. I'm the first of my friends to relocate with a partner, so I wasn't entirely sure what to expect. I wanted to pop up a blog post running through the trials and tribulations I experienced and hopefully leave you well equipped, should the opportunity arise! 

I think there are 3 main themes, or emotions that you'll inevitably go through while adjusting to your new home...

1. Loneliness 
It may sound silly, but I didn't give this one all to much thought when contemplating the big move, but this has certainly been the overriding emotion I've experienced and at times really struggled with. Having moved somewhere where I didn't know anyone (apart from my boyfriend of course) I have certainly struggled to adjust to living somewhere without any friends close by. I've been in Sussex for just over 10 months now, and I'm yet to feel completely settled and I think that has a lot to do with the friend-shaped void in my life. After spending the majority of your life being surrounded by peers, its weird to be thrown into a situation where it's hard to meet them. I'm open to suggestions for new ways of meeting people, but as someone who lacks confidence, I am definitely intimidated by the concept!

2. Unfamiliarity 
Moving somewhere new is always exciting, but that's not to say it's not daunting too. If; like me, you're not the most adventurous traveller, it can be pretty challenging to adjust to your new digs. I  still don't really know the area I'm living in, and I often find myself relying on my boyfriend to accompany me whenever I want to go anywhere. It's no longer as simple as popping down to the local shopping centre... now I feel like I need a guided tour each time I set foot out of my front door. Not ideal!

Brighton Beach
Brighton Beach
3. New Hopes
While the loneliness and unfamiliarity can leave you feeling like a bit of a failure, I always have to look at the venture with the prospect of new hopes and possibilities. Choosing to move out of your comfort zone will probably be one of the most rewarding things you can do, and it gives you the opportunity to experience new things and grow as an individual. My life has been a bit of a whirlwind for the last 10 months and a lot has changed; I graduated University, moved to Sussex, got my first 'proper' job and was also offered my second proper job (perhaps more on this to come in future posts!). And while I frequently find myself becoming disillusioned by this whole 'adulting' thing, I have to say I'm proud of what I've achieve thus far. I may not quite have it all figured out, but hey, Rome wasn't built in a day.

So I guess the main pearls of wisdom I hope you can perhaps take away from this rather rambly post is; please don't be too hard on yourself - change is hard, and it's ok to not always be ok with the shift. Things may not seem to pan out the way we expect, but that doesn't mean there isn't still great things to come. Always try to see the opportunities, rather than the failings. It's so easy to become caught up in all that your life is lacking, rather than experiencing all of the exciting new beginnings that are right on your doorstep. I've decided to make a conscious effort to begin my life here. I can't be relying on others to make me feel settled - I'm in charge of how my life goes, so this ones all on me.

If any of you have made a similar move to myself, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter - and any helpful tips to may have for someone looking to start a new life in an unfamiliar city! 

2 comments

  1. As silly as it sounds, getting a part time job or doing some activity like an art class really helps with meeting people. I've met some of my good friends through jobs. Also congrats on all that you've accomplished!

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    1. Hi Nicole, thank you so much for taking the time to comment! You know I've been thinking of doing that and an art class sounds like it would be really fun - I'm always hesitant about whether I'd meet people my own age though. Hopefully my new job will encourage me to meet more people like you say :) Thank you for all the support! :) x

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